Guide to Buying Children's Toys

Buying toys for children can be a daunting prospect, whether it's for your own kids or for someone else's. Like it or not, you are faced with choosing something that can be valued for a long time, something that's ''cool" and something that provides safe and engaging play from a plethora of offers arduously promoted on television, in catalogues and in kids magazines, sometimes with questionable consequences. Every parent has to do daily battle with the war cry "I want." whenever an item that is coveted by a child appears on the screen in front of him or her, especially if it's an item that has substantial peer value. Yet, after shelling out what in this day and age may feel like a king's ransom, that same valued trinket can be found laying in the dust, unwanted, within a remarkably short time.

Toys & Games So, how do you ensure your investment is wise? How can you make a quality choice? You can start by searching for toys at Myshopping.com.au where you will find a wide range of excellent choices for children of all ages and taste. Myshopping.com.au is one way to keep abreast of a market that moves very quickly.

Buying a child a toy however is not only about filling the void of their immediate "I want." Much of the decision involves the values that the buyer ? the giver ? wants to impart in making that choice.

Include your own values

From the youngest of ages, toys are what children learn from. It is in play where children learn many of the values we adults want them to carry forward into their future relationships. Play is what helps teach them that others have feelings, that sharing is a necessary human condition, that possession and ownership are rights and responsibilities. If we want our children to value our own contributions to the communities in which we live, we will more likely try to impart similar values through the choices we make for them. This is reflected through choices in educational toys, outdoor play, music, sport, fashion and many other pursuits.

A toy bought by a special relative or friend can often be regarded more highly by a child than other toys simply because of the meaning of the relationship: the toy representing that relationship in times of absence for example. Much loved toys often have special meaning attached to them, not because of the value of the toy itself, but because of its origins.

In sharp contrast, many toys purchased on the whim of the war cry "I want." are done so with the primary intention of bringing peace to the household and involve little of the purchaser's personal values in the actual choice. Sometimes this can lead the child to continue demanding that his or her needs are met with material acquisitions based on selfish desires, resulting in 'spoiling'.

Educational toys

While toys are for fun and play, they also help children in their educational, social, emotional, and physical development. As they become engaged with objects for their own amusement, they are also working on cognitive and motor skills, both important developmental processes in very young children and kids with some learning or physical challenges. As educational resources, toys that present challenges to children frequently stimulate their ability to reason.

Parents and other adults can get involved in playing with their children's toys too. These activities help babies exchange contact with others and builds their language skills. When adults interact with babies and their toys, they are helping babies learn that the toys exist even when they are not seen or heard. This helps in their development into play with their peers in pre-school, helping them understand rules of play and a sense of right and wrong. In play, toys empower children, permitting them to control their environment temporarily and make decisions independently of adults.

There are a number of ways to make choices in educational toys for children. A first step might be to consider their development at playschool, pre-school or school, and make choices that help in the child's development in that environment. Another consideration is to consider where the child's personal interest's lie and look in that interest area. Building toys, construction models, and sand and water toys can foster an interest in mathematics through volumes and measures. Books and board games that employ instructional cards can further an interest in reading and language. Writing and art interests can be developed with phonics toys, erasible writing products, colouring toys and model kits, craft kits and different painting mediums. Environmental, engineering and science interests can be met with trivia games, maps and puzzles, chemistry sets, telescopes, microscopes and advanced building sets. Music choices encompass karaoke, musical instruments and sing-along products, as well as music players.

Search Myshopping.com.au for educational toys in different categories and different price ranges for children of different age ranges.

Gaming and outdoor play

Clearly one of the most rapidly developing trends in toys, is that of computer and electronic gaming, which includes software purchases for desktop or laptop computers, Play station and X-Box gaming consoles and portable gaming products. These options provide a great many variables, with a huge number of titles available in each of the formats.

While computer gaming can be enormously engaging for children of all ages, its basic nature can frequently play against the idea of open sharing, as the computer gaming environment is often very private, and single-player oriented. This can develop into sibling squabbles and selfish behaviour on the part of the game owner. If you are considering buying electronic gaming as a gift for a child who is not your own child, it would be wise and prudent to clear the purchase with the parents first, as not all parents are comfortable with their children having these products.

A large part of children's play also ties in with having happy and healthy kids. Exercise is a widely recognised component of health, and is reported in much of the media as a declining activity in kids, contributing to an obesity problem in modern society. To foster regular exercise, it is important to promote outdoor play with children and this can be achieved with the choices of toy purchases. Many sporting activities evolve from toy purchases, and can include any number of ball games ranging from any of the football codes, basketball, netball, cricket, hockey, baseball and so on.

Other toys that encourage outdoor activity might include transport toys such as bikes and scooters, skates and skateboards, mechanically propelled cars and carts; athletic activities such as swings and slides; sand toys and water activities.

Safety first

Regardless of your relationship with the child for whom you are purchasing a toy, safety is an issue of paramount importance. It's imperative to review all of the safety information published with the toy's instructional literature. If the toy looks unsafe and there is no published literature about its operation, it would be wise to avoid that particular purchase. Danger lurks in the oddest of corners. The most common consideration of toy safety includes strings or cords that could wrap around a young child's neck, packaging with sharp corners or protruding wire ties. Very young children often put what may be interesting objects to them in their mouths. Small components can pose chocking hazards, as can plastic bags large enough to be placed over a head. Battery compartments should be secured with a screw, providing a safely locked housing.

Equally important with removing hazards that may be present, is the need to educate children on how to use toys safely when playing alone or with others. While it is important that kids should not be endangered, it is also important that they learn how to assess a risk and take steps to eliminate or minimise risks at the earliest of age?both to themselves and to others.

Age and Gender

One of the primary considerations for toy shopping is how to chose a toy that is suitable for a girl or boy, at a particular age. Most toy manufacturers discriminate by both gender and age in the advice they give for their toys. Myshopping.com.au lists toys under these descriptions. However, these guides are given as advice only, and may not necessarily reflect the readiness of your child for a particular product, or the ability of a particular product to satisfy your child's current needs. Please search Myshopping.com.au for a wide selection of toys, and to help you with your choices.

Pit Bulls Dangerous To Children?

We all know that something comes to mind whenever “pit bull” is mentioned. More often than not, that something is negative. A large part of the reason why so many of us have negative thoughts about pit bulls despite never having had a bad experience due to one is because of the media. This is why many of us tend to think of pit bulls as particularly aggressive dogs which has actually fueled a drive in some parts of the country to ban the breed altogether. Despite a constant beating in the press, here are some facts about pit bulls:

* Pit bulls are the # 1 breed in the country but do not rank #1 on biting

* Pit bulls are classified as having an average temperament with breeds such as the golden retriever actually being known to be more aggressive

* Pit bull attacks have been on the decline since 1997

Another common misperception surrounding the pit bull is that the breed simply is not safe around children. Frankly speaking, no breed of dog or cat is completely safe around children if left unsupervised. But, while the press highlights rare occurrences of pit bull attacks upon children, the fact remains that the breed is completely safe around children if the following precautions are taken:

* All action between children and pit bull supervised

* All dog toys are first picked up

* Watch how child treats dog

* Teach dog basic obedience

* Do not put animal in situations it does not like

Supervise All Interaction

It is nothing short of simple common sense to supervise a dog and a young child playing together. In fact, the child should never be left alone with the dog period. This is especially true with younger children. Almost every single recorded attack involving a pit bull (or any breed for that matter) and a child happened while the adult was not present.

Pick Up All Pet Toys

A pit bull, like any dog, is going to be possessive of their toys. While the pet owner can get away with playing with the toys, a child may be perceived as potential competition. Plus, a dog toy is not going to be the most sanitary of things for a child to play with so its just a good idea all the way around to pick up the pit bull’s toys before allowing a child into the area.

See How Child Interacts with Pit Bull

While a pit bull may have a better temperament than a golden retriever, it will have its limits just like any dog. It is not uncommon for children to be mean to dogs as they tend to punch and pull on everything they come into contact with during certain ages. The child must have a basic respect for dogs or else the pit bull is apt to nip at the child if it acts overly aggressive towards it. Children unfamiliar with dogs or having a fear of dogs should not under circumstances be left to play with a pit bull or any large breed for that matter.

Teach Pit Bull Basic Obedience

A pit bull must have a fundamental respect for the owner and its wishes if it is to be controlled properly. If the dog has not learned to respect your authority and do things like sit on command or lay down, then it should not be allowed around unfamiliar people—be they adult or child. A dog must be able to sit and allow itself to be pet by strangers if it is to be around children and any pit bull should be trained to lay down when they become too excited. Without these basic commands and a fundamental respect for the owner, a pit bull, like any large breed, would be a liability around children.

Do Not Make Dog Uncomfortable

There will just be some people that your pit bull may not like or be comfortable around. While some owners can be tempted to think that forcing the dog to interact with the stranger will eventually make things all right, it sets the stage for a bad situation. Pit bulls, like any dog breed, are largely instinctual. If a person makes them nervous for any reason, they are more likely to bite that person out of fear. It is best to keep nervous pit bulls in their own space rather than force them to interact with people that they do not like for some reason.

If these simple rules are adhered to, a pit bull can be perfectly safe around children. Being there to supervise the interaction really is the most important thing to remember. You should be able to tell if your dog is getting upset and be there to remove him or her from the situation when that happens. But remember—just as the dog needs to be trained in simple obedience, the children must be taught to have respect for the animals as well if the two are to ever get along and play safely together.

Emotional and Social Development

Many theorists have suggested the emotional development of a child, or the core of one’s self esteem needs to be understood and fostered at home and in the classroom. Teachers and parents should focus on children’s emotional development or the “feelings that generally have both physiological and cognitive elements which influence behavior” (Feldman, 2000, p. 329), at a young age. These feelings need to be positively reinforced to develop a high self-esteem through out the child’s life. Most theorists agree that there is a link between a child’s development and their respective emotional levels. The views of the theorists also clarify the most influential stages in a child’s life when emotional development is necessary and how this development reinforces a child’s self esteem. A child’s emotional development needs to be built at home and school in order to develop a high self-image.

By the time a child is three years old, he or she is an emotionally complex person who has experienced a wide range of emotions. As parents, teachers, and caregivers we need to help promote our children’s emotional development so that they will be able to develop healthy relationships with their peers and learn how to manage their emotions effectively. This will help them get the most benefit out of their learning and eventually adulthood development. A child’s emotional development begins with the relationship with their caregiver. The type of responses that a child receives from their first caregivers (i.e. parents, daycare providers) will determine how that child will learn to deal with their emotions later on in their live (Ashiabi, 2000). A child who has a secure relationship with their caregiver will initiate positive interactions and respond positively to initiations with others (Ashiabi, 2000). Conversely, a child who has an insecure relationship with his or her caregiver will show more negative emotions while interacting with others (Ashiabi, 2000).

Elizabeth Cady Stanton once said, “Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice” (Quote, 2004). Having a good self worth or attitude about oneself can define self-esteem. Children with a “healthy” self-esteem feel, “that the important adults in their lives accept them, care about them, and would go out of their way to ensure that they are safe and well” (KidSource, 2004). In younger children, self-esteem is not measured by their self worth, but by how well the loved ones in their lives respect and respond to their particular needs. For example, children with a lack of role models or a lack of parental support tend to have a lower self-esteem because they feel that these adults do not accept or care about them. This is the main factor which children base their level of self-esteem on through out their childhood and then on into adulthood. An example of this can be seen in early childhood development of infants who respond and attach themselves to the adults who love and are responsible for them. In the magazine American Baby it states, “What’s usually the fastest way to soothe a crying baby? Snuggle together while gently stroking him. Your touch has an amazing power to communicate love” (Wu, 2004). What this is pointing out is that the infant is responding to the trusted adult’s touch basing its emotional development on this form of communication and overall establishing the child’s future trust and self-esteem.

One big question about self-esteem is, “The more you praise your child, and the more self esteem your child will have. This is correct, isn't it?” (Cyperparent, 2004). The answer to this question is not as simple it seems. It has been said that if you continuously praise a child, it may make the child question the sincerity of that adult, causing them to soon dismiss these praises as “fake” and eventually hindering their self esteem. Even young children can see through excessive praise and flattery (KidSource, 2004). This is very important in today’s classroom. Research suggests that we should praise, but also challenge and encourage the student to take risks. Praising your children and your students should be only one aspect of raising self-esteem. The main aspect of this development should focus on how, “Helping children develop self-esteem involves listening, accepting, and praising. Self-esteem comes from acceptance. Provide positive self-esteem. Help your children grow self-esteem” (KidSource, 2004). A child’s self-esteem is not something imprinted in their DNA when born, self esteem is established and planted by parents and teachers through a lot of time, dedication, and positive reinforcement. Remember that a child, also, does not and really cannot develop self-esteem over night. Self-Esteem is something that is trail and error for each child and with the positive help and influence of parents or teachers, a proper and high self esteem can be established, building upon each event through out their life, representing their emotional development.

It has been established for a long time that emotion does play a role in learning (Gewertz, 2003). Recent research has also shown that a deliberate approach to teaching social and emotional skills in the classroom increases test scores and grades, increases students’ enthusiasm and motivation to learn and reduces behavior problems. Children who are distracted by emotional issues do not learn effectively (Gewertz, 2003). By focusing on developing emotional and social skills, teachers and parents can help students to maximize their learning potential.

There are many ways a teacher can establish a child’s emotional development. As we have stated previously, children build their self-esteem and emotional development based of the adults who they are close to and whom they spend a lot of time with. Teachers need to encourage children by building upon their self-esteem in their lesson plans so that their students will feel comfortable and confident with themselves. A teacher can make their students feel more confident by giving each child a specific responsibility. This is not only exciting for the child, but it also provides an opportunity for the student to gain some ownership of the classroom. A teacher can also show the students to how to learn from past failed attempts (Research and Children, 2004). In order to make this work, a teacher needs to let go of their instinct to overprotect the students and allow them to be creative and encourage any questioning. Building or growing a child’s emotional development is different than teaching it. Teachers also have to keep in mind that they might be the sole provider for this form of development if the child is not receiving it at home. Thoroughly planning lessons around positive thinking will help to reinforce this theory.

There are many lesson plans teachers have access to via the internet. Most of these can easily be adapted to fit a teacher’s specific situation. The K-5 lessons range from a “Who am I Collage,” by Linda Bauck, which teaching the child who they are, to a “self esteem/class pride chain,” by Kimberlee Woodward, which teaches them teamwork and self worth. The collage allows the students to create and present a piece of work about them. This allows the students not only to talk about their interests and characteristics, but also to work on presentation skills with peers. The chain lesson plan allows the student to list five talents on separate strips of construction paper. Then with the teachers help they will be linked to form a chain. The students each present their talents to the class, then link the entire chain together. This serves as a reference point and a reminder throughout the year. A student can always look up and see that he does possess talents, and so do his peers. Lesson plans building child development can be found on the internet at sites such as www.eduref.org/, which these lesson plans were located at. Another route the teacher can look into is character education which is a theory based on teaching children character. Really the focus of the teacher should be to learn about emotional development then implement it into the classroom.

There are outlining stages for emotional development and children. Parents and by teachers need to understand these stages so that they can aid in building their children’s emotional development and positively mold children’s self esteem. Emotional Development is important to understand because it can really help the child all the way into adulthood. Amos Alcott once said, “The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence” (Quote, 2004). Teachers and parents are responsible for the emotional development of the children and the influence they share with these children can affect the children’s lives forever.

Asperger’s Syndrome Children at School

Between the age of 6-18 children spend a third of each day at school, so it’s important to ensure they’re in the best environment for their needs. This is particularly true for children with Asperger’s Syndrome.

So what should parents/carers look for when choosing a school for their Asperger’s Syndrome child, or consider in their monitoring of the school environment?

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome cope best in schools with small class sizes. This option is less a reality these days, when Education systems worldwide are struggling to survive with less funding and increased consumer demand. However, there are many other procedures and practices you can monitor to make certain your child with Asperger’s Syndrome is being educated in an optimal setting.

You should ensure your Asperger Syndrome child’s school has an extensive, in-depth knowledge of Asperger’s Syndrome; from the Principal to the Classroom teacher, Administration staff and Ancillary staff. This guarantees that whoever has contact with your Asperger Syndrome child in the course of their school day is aware of your son/daughter’s needs and understands that Asperger’s Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder – not a behavioural issue. So ask what specific Asperger Syndrome training the staff at your child’s school has completed and check that this is updated regularly. This is particularly relevant for your son/daughter’s Classroom teacher. If no specific Asperger Syndrome training has been undertaken at your child’s school, insist that this is rectified promptly.

Check the anti-bullying policy of your child’s school. This must be a whole-school policy that has a proven and consistent grievance address policy, with successful follow-up procedures. The policy should tackle the needs of victims and actions of perpetrators alike. Zero tolerance for bullying.

Your child’s classroom should be aesthetically AS friendly, as well as having the curriculum structured and delivered in a manner that meets the needs of your child with Asperger’s Syndrome. This will include using visual aids and maintaining a low sensory “volume” in the classroom – minimising noise, light, smell and extremes in temperature. The Classroom teacher should be mindful of the fact that all social interaction will have a cumulative effect on your AS child – this will affect the successful outcome of group activities, seating arrangements and ‘buddy’ systems.

Your child’s school should have a strong Social Skills program in place, that your son/daughter with Asperger’s Syndrome participates in at least once a week for a minimum of 1 ½ hours. This program must incorporate:

• physical activity
• decoding language and facial expressions
• problem solving case-specific scenarios
• developing friendship skills
• group/team work

Ideally the Social Skills program should include Asperger’s Syndrome children’s non-disabled peers. With consistency and perseverance this skills-specific program will effect positive change in your child’s social behaviour.

The physical activity component will assist the Asperger Syndrome child’s co-ordination, fine and gross motor skills, spatial awareness, vestibular systems imbalance and physical fitness levels.

The language component should aim to assist the Asperger Syndrome child to recognise and decode literal or conflicting statements in our language e.g. idioms and oxymorons. It also assists your son/daughter in identifying the meanings of facial expressions and body language/gestures. This will help your child with Asperger’s Syndrome to develop the use of more appropriate facial expressions and body language in their interactions with their peers.

Problem solving specific scenarios that have occurred in the lives of children with Asperger’s Syndrome helps them to develop a “bank” of appropriate responses/reactions and strategies to use in real life situations. E.g. Your teacher tells you to hand in your project books after lunch so she can mark them, and you’ve left yours at home. What would you do? It helps to hear everyone’s answer, as this provides a non-judgemental forum for the Asperger Syndrome child; helping them to recognise their “first response” in stressful situations. Hearing that other children with Asperger’s Syndrome may react the same way helps your son/daughter feel less like “one of a kind”. Then, asking “What might be a better way to handle the situation?” develops a number of problem-solving options for your child to implement.

Discussions about what makes a good friend; what good friends do in various situations; how friends act; what friends say to each other; how friends share; how friends play together; how friends include each other in games etc, form the basis of teaching friendship skills. Again, using real-life scenarios of incidents that happen in the playground at school/home help Asperger Syndrome children to transfer their knowledge to their interactions with their peers. Specific skills need to be directly taught about appropriate ways to join a game; co-operating with others; turn taking and also subtle nuances like “bending” the rules of a game. Self recognition by the Asperger Syndrome child of their need for rigidness and rule following, and highlighting that not all children think this way helps to explain the often-confusing nature of the playground to your son/daughter. They may never be fully comfortable with games like this, but the knowledge gives them control over their choices.

Developing group work skills enables Asperger Syndrome children to participate more successfully in activities in class and at home. The “mechanics” of group work need to be explained to AS children in a step-by-step process for greatest understanding.

Regular access to an all-encompassing Social Skills program such as this, in a group comprising Asperger Syndrome children and their neurotypical peers provides your child with the building blocks of social dexterity for life. It also fosters tolerance and understanding in their neurotypical peers.

Your Asperger Syndrome child’s school should recognise the need for continuous, open communication between home and school. This can be achieved by a daily phone call between Special Education staff and parents/carers each day, with relevant information being relayed to your child’s Classroom teacher. Most parents/carers and professionals of Asperger Syndrome children understand that sometimes seemingly benign incidents in an AS child’s day (either before, during or after school) can have a huge impact on their behaviour. Knowing that all behaviour is a form of communication, we can’t possibly hope to understand the message the Asperger Syndrome child is trying to convey unless we have all the facts. Continual communication gives those caring for the Asperger child at school and home the “big picture”.

Schools should provide support for children with Asperger’s Syndrome as required, and deliver that support in an equitable manner. Remember though, your AS child may need that support provided in an alternative format e.g. instead of in-class teacher aide support, your child may function better with organisational support e.g. keeping track of when work is due in; helping them collect/collate research information etc. It’s imperative that you negotiate with the Asperger Syndrome child themselves to establish the most successful way to provide support.

Your child’s school should have a “safe space” your Asperger child can go to when they are stressed, anxious, angry or agitated. This “space” needs to be sensorily “quiet” with soft furnishings – a muted, calm environment. Accessing this “safe space” should never be used as a form of punishment; rather the AS child should be encouraged to remove him/her self from an escalating situation before overload and meltdown occur, and rewarded for using this strategy. The AS child shouldn’t be “rushed” or “hurried” to return to the classroom or activity – this will only increase their agitation. Patience is the key in the “safe space” strategy being successful. All children (Asperger Syndrome children included) strive to be the same as their peers, and this “internal driving force” ensures the AS child will rejoin his/her class as soon as they are physically/emotionally able to.

Just as neurotypical children differ from each other, so too no Asperger Syndrome children are exactly alike. Most of them however, experience periods of high/excess energy and will benefit from regular energy “burns” throughout the day. This could be in the form of a brisk walk; a short run/jog or a set of star jumps or other callisthenic exercise (skipping, hopping on alternate feet etc). The need to burn excess energy usually occurs about halfway through each classroom session (morning, middle and afternoon) and also just after each break-time (morning tea and lunch/recess). Your Asperger Syndrome child’s successful behaviour in the classroom can be greatly enhanced by implementing regular energy “burns” into their day. If a Teacher Aide/Assistant isn’t available to supervise this, an alternative is having the AS child run errands/messages for the Classroom teacher. However, it’s vital the child with Asperger’s Syndrome comes to recognise these periods of high/excess energy, and experiences the benefits of implementing regular energy burns into his/her day.

This list of school strategies is by no means comprehensive, nor is it intended to be. Rather, it’s meant to list the minimum accommodations every school should make for children with Asperger’s Syndrome. It is a foundation to build on in partnering with your child’s school to create an individual Education program for your AS child that allows him/her to achieve their fullest potential.

Teach Your Children to Respect You

The most important value you will ever teach your children is: to respect their parents. And since you cannot pass anything on that you don’t incorporate yourself, you will have to start by first respecting your children. If they don’t feel treated like a human being, worthy of respect and love, deserving of your attention, then their cooperation will be in short supply.

First, you show them respect. Second, you teach them to respect you.

So how to go about this in practice? What to do if your children complain about the food, insult you because you’re picking them up from the gym 10 minutes too late, or if they don’t want to clean up their own mess?

Let’s have a look at these situations one by one:

1. Are the kids complaining about the food? Do you hear a “bwerk” when they see what’s in the casserole? Well, you are no fool, are you? You just spent one hour in the kitchen preparing that meal. Before cooking, you spent one hour at the grocery store buying the food. Before that, you spent many hours on the job, earning the money to pay for that food. So you now start asking yourself, “Did I not give enough of myself for this meal?” Yes, you did! You do not owe it to them to prepare a warm meal every day. But you do owe it to yourself to get some respect from those for whom you make all these efforts. Enough is enough! You did your part of the deal, now it’s up to them. Teach your children to say “thank you” for every meal. If they have no “thank you” on offer but only muster a “bwerk,” then you are not making dinner for at least two days! Soon they’ll be begging you for a warm dinner, and God knows they will be very grateful when they finally get one on the third day! Never continue delivering a service that is not appreciated. You’d be a fool to do that! How does it feel to be toiling away behind the stove, all the while fearing your efforts and goodwill won’t be appreciated? This is no way to live! If they appreciate neither your efforts nor your cooking, then make them go without for 2 or 3 days, and see what happens.

2. Are the kids insulting you just because you’re ten minutes late when picking them up from the gym? Then stop picking them up from the gym for a few times! Make it clear to them that they have to appreciate your effort of taking them and picking them up. Don’t start an argument with them, for that doesn’t work. Don’t keep explaining time and time again that they should respect you, but rather show them by taking action. If they are unable to see the difference between the important facts (you are there to pick them up) and the unimportant facts (being ten minutes too late), then let them feel the difference. Next time around, simply don’t take them to the gym, so they will become aware of the difference and learn to appreciate what you are doing for them. Don’t settle for being treated like a slave. You are worthy of respect! Show them what it means to be a person who respects himself. Respect yourself and others will respect you.

3. Are the kids complaining that “there is nothing to eat” in the house, while the kitchen cupboards are bulging with food? What they mean, of course, is that THEIR favorite food is not available in large enough a quantity. Do your kids have this kind of complaints? Okay, here’s what you do: stop going to the grocery store for a while. That way the kids will have to first finish all the food in the fridge and in the cupboards (or go do some household shopping themselves, also an enlightening exercise). This also makes for an economical cleaning up of all those half-finished packs of crackers, biscuits, cheese, and the like. Then comes the next phase where there really is “nothing” left in the cupboards. Now is the time to go to the grocery store, and you can bet on it that they will appreciate the new arrivals! They will feel like there’s “so much to eat,” while in fact there’s less food than when they were complaining there was “nothing to eat.”

4. Are the kids putting tons of ketchup on their food, continuously ignoring your warnings to be more economical and eat healthier? Stop arguing about it, for that doesn’t work. Instead, stop buying ketchup all the time! For example, buy one bottle of ketchup per month and clearly tell your children that they’ll have to do with this one bottle for the whole month. When the bottle is done, it’s done, till next month comes around. If necessary, buy a bottle for each child and label it. That way your children will learn to regulate their “ketchup behavior.”

5. Are the kids ignoring your orders to put their shoes in the designated place? Do they go on leaving their shoes all around the house? Tell them this will be the last warning, and that from now on, any shoes found scattered around will be “launched” into the back yard. And then, stick to your promise! I had to do this once with my sun’s basketball shoes: I launched them outside. As it happened, that night it was raining cats and dogs. The next morning he cried, “What do I do now? My shoes are all wet!” I said to him, “Sun, this is your problem.” Believe me, I had to do this only once! Once your children know that you will do as you say, then you won’t have to do it. They will respect your word!

6. Are your children’s rooms a mess? You want the mess to be cleaned up? Don’t do it yourself! Your teenagers should clean up their own mess! So instead of arguing about it, tell them that they have to clean up their room before dinner on Saturday. That way you are giving them plenty of freedom to chose their own timing. Come Saturday evening dinnertime, go check if the room is tidy. If not, then there is no dinner for that child. After all, this was the deal: room to be cleaned BEFORE dinner. They can still clean their room right there and then, and have dinner when they’re done, but as long as the room is not clean there is no dinner. You could also say, “You clean your room and after that you can go out with your friends.” Be consistent and do as you say.

This is where many parents stumble when dealing with their children: they argue too much. They go on explaining the same thing dozens of times. Do you really think the kids didn’t understand what you were saying? If you have said something two times, then that’s enough. After the second time, you should ACT and not TALK.

Don’t argue with them! Never argue with a child. You are the parent, you are the one who decides. You can negotiate with your child, but don’t feel you need to explain yourself. Kids have much more energy than you do, and sooner or later you will give up (or give in) because your energy is spent while theirs is not. They know that and they will win the battle! Don’t get tempted to go into endless discussions with your child. Learn to act after the second warning. Be consistent! That’s the only way to get respect.

Home Safety for Toddlers and Small Children

Home Safety for Toddlers and Small Children

If you have toddlers in your home, then safety is obviously a big concern. They are big enough and mobile enough to go just about anywhere but they little to no understanding of how dangerous some things might be. So, you know that you need to toddler-proof your home but how do you go about it?

A great place to start is by placing ‘baby gates’ at the top and bottom of the stair case to prevent injuries. Be sure that you purchase a gate that is sturdy and can be easily fastened to the wall, railing or some other solid surface on or near the stairs. Even with a baby gate, never leave a toddler unattended near the stairs.

Next on the list to put child safety latches on all cupboard and cabinet doors the child could possibly reach. Remember, toddlers can climb! Pa extra attention the cabinets under the kitchen or bathroom sink or anyplace you store medicine, cleaning supplies, garden chemicals or poisons. In the garage or storage shed, store all weed killers and chemicals in a locked cabinet and place the key in a location where your child cannot find it.

When it comes to toddler safety, prevention is the best method. Store your child’s books and toys at their level so they do not have to climb to get to their favorite game or stuffed animal. If your child has a lamp, fan or other electrical appliance in his/her room, tuck cords safely behind furniture so the child cannot pull anything down on himself.

Avoid choking hazards by keeping young children away from small objects, pieces of toys, and small pieces of board games. Read manufacturer instructions for all toys and follow their guidelines. Buy only those toys and games that are appropriate for a child of a particular age. Place plastic safety plugs in electrical outlets so the child cannot stick his fingers in the outlet.

One aspect of home safety that is often overlooked is mildew and mold. Mildew and mold can cause serious illness and injury in adults and toddlers alike. Mold or mildew can be the cause of allergies and asthma in small children. Install a dehumidifier in any damp areas to mitigate the moisture in the air.

Top 20 Reasons Children Study Music

All you need to do is visit the kids’ audio/video section of your local CD shop and you will be bombarded with a multitude of educational enhancement products to buy. You may find ‘Baby Einstein’ or ‘Brainy Baby’ and an abundance of similar merchandise to make your child smarter. These types of goods can be a wonderful way to introduce music to your children before the age of three. However, nothing can replace private music lessons for a 3 to 9 year old.

The brain develops at a rapid rate between birth and three and is an essential window for the development of neurons. Therefore, encouraging musical exploration is an easy way to promote intellectual development.

Before the age of three, toy instruments can be an excellent introduction to the real thing and group musical play classes can prepare a child for later study. Singing at any age is highly beneficial and linguistic & musical awareness can begin as early as the fifth month of pregnancy when the fetal brain and ears are wide open to receive stimulus.

>From the age of 3 years old, a child’s brain circuits are mature enough to begin instrumental and/or vocal lessons. Voice is probably the most important instrument because singing is a tremendous gateway to confident communication and full self-expression.

The piano is usually the best musical instrument to start with because it does not require any specific fingering to play. However, children should choose instruments to play by the sounds they like. Kids will practice more if they like the sound of an instrument.

If your child chooses the piano, inexpensive electronic keyboards are a good way to begin because they are very affordable and portable. Many brands on the market today will display the notes on a digital screen while music is being played. These types of keyboards can greatly assist a child to begin to read musical notes and symbols. They also often have built in rhythm and song functions that make singing and dancing along with the music easy.

Since Howard Gardner’s “Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences” in 1983 and Gordon Shaw and Francis Rauscher’s “Mozart Effect” in 1993, there has be much debate and research into whether or not music study can be linked to better academic performance.

You will find thousands of books, products, articles and websites discussing the advantages of studying music. For your convenience, the top 20 benefits reported for vocal and instrumental music study are listed below.

1. Music training has been linked to spatial-temporal reasoning skills. (I.e. ability to read a map, put puzzles together, form mental images, transform/visualize things in space that unfold over time, and recognize relationships between objects. These skills are often helpful in science, math, and chess.)

2. Musical symbols, structure, and rhythmic training utilize fractions, ratios, and proportions, which are all important in mathematical study.

3. Increases problem finding/solving, logic and thinking skills like analysis, evaluation and the linkage/organization of ideas

4. Optimizes brain neuron development & circuitry

5. Assists motor development especially coordination of hands, eyes and body

6. Expands multiple intelligences and helps students’ transfer study, cognitive and communication skills from subject to subject in any syllabus

7. Group orchestra or ensemble activities help promote cooperation, social harmony and teach kids discipline while working together toward a common goal.

8. Music augments memory. For example, most people learn their ABC’s by singing them. Repeating a tune in a predictable rhythmic song structure makes memorization easier.

9. Singing is a great way to aid/improve reading ability and instruction. Karaoke is a perfect example. Children may learn a song by ear (auditory) but words on a TV or computer screen provide a simultaneous visual anchor.

10. In vocal music learning rhythm, phrasing, and pitch greatly enhances language, pronunciation, grammar, and vocabulary skills. This is especially noticeable when using songs in first and second language study.

11. Improves critical reading and writing

12. Raises test scores, decreases performance anxiety, and teaches kids how to handle/manage stress during standardized exams

13. Helps children channel unexpressed and/or negative emotions in a positive way

14. Boosts creative thinking

15. Reading music and performing memorized pieces help children to think ahead

16. Improvisation helps people to “think on their feet”

17. Solo performance is connected to self-esteem & self-efficacy. (concept of self capacity) Children learn to reach for their very best.

18. When kids prepare and consistently practice for recital or performance, they work to sing/play without errors. They generally apply similar determination and perseverance to many future endeavors academic or otherwise.

19. Improves understanding of homework and enables a higher levels of concentration

20. Children who study music usually have a better attitude, are more motivated and are less intimidated by learning new things

Strong music reading, writing notation, sight singing (solfege), music theory, literacy, and moving the body to music are solid, transferable skills. Learning is a two-way street. For example, one can assume that mathematics can also develop music. Academic achievement links positively with musical achievement and vice versa.

As early as the 19th century, the visionary Dr. Maria Montessori included music and arts into her worldwide school curriculums to greatly enhance and accelerate learning.

‘Lorna Heyge, Ph.D., says: "While educational leaders turn to early childhood music because it promotes brain development, they will stay with music because of the joy and stimulation experienced in actual music making. Music learning requires total involvement-that is why it appeals so much to young children"

5 Natural Stress Relief Techniques for Children

Is your child stressed out? Some people think only adults experience stress, but it affects our children too. Here's how to help your child manage their emotions.

We often view our kids as happy-go-lucky beings without a care. But children can also experience stress. Not only do they get anxious about things in their own young world--school, friends, peer pressure--but they also can be deeply affected by outside factors such as war, natural disasters and other unsettling world events.

In fact, the list of contributors to childhood stress can be quite long. Many stressors are the result of family problems, like divorce, a death or a parent's job loss but there are also less obvious triggers such as moving to a new city or the birth of a new sibling.

As a parent, you can become attuned to what's a normal amount of anxiety for your child and what is not. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, use the following tools to help your child handle it better.

Tuning into Anxiety Attack symptoms

1. Tune in to their moods.

Pay attention to your child's behavior. Take the time to talk to your child to get to the root of the problem. Ask questions like "How are you feeling?" "What's happening at school?" or "How are things with your friends?"

When you show concern for their problems and issues, it's reassuring to them and they'll be more responsive to that attention.

2. Watch the same shows they do.

If you have younger children, you certainly don't want them watching the doom and gloom of daily news shows. Children's minds are like sponges in they absorb almost everything they see or hear.

They are especially sensitive to negative energy, pain or suffering. Shows like the news can be traumatizing and anxiety-producing for younger children.

It's important to discuss with them what they've seen. You can't tell them that it's never going to happen to them but you can say,"We're going to do everything we can to protect you". It's also a good idea to let them know whom to call and what to do in case of an emergency.

3. Focus on the positive.

There is obviously no way a child can be shielded from a major trauma such as a death in the family, a house fire or a natural disaster. Instead, help children count their blessings. Comfort and reassure them by saying, "We're strong and we're going to make it." "And as difficult as it may be, try to maintain everyday routines.

For many young victims of floods or fire, for example, going back to school, even in another city, can help bring some normalcy back to their disrupted lives. What can also help is to make sure children have positive outlets like physical activity, going to the movies or spending time with friends.

4. Lead by example.

Children often learn to deal with stress by mimicking how you respond in challenging times. Even if you don't tell your child that you're about to be laid off from your job or that you're worried that your marriage is on the verge of breaking up, they can still pick up on your stress.

They may not understand the underlying causes but they can hear the strained tone and elevated volume of your voice,which gives them the message that something's going on that may affect them too.

That's why it's so important to show them good coping skills. If you light a cigarette, have a drink, or use foul language when you're under pressure, your little one may internalize that as a coping method.

Instead, model healthy behavior during difficult times, such as writing in a journal, de-stressing in a hot bath, sharing how you feel
without blaming, or taking a walk.

5. Instill confidence.

When children are young, there are times when you will have to come to their defense and help them handle tough situations. But as they get older, you also have to let them champion themselves, which builds their confidence in their ability to resolve problems on their own.

One of your missions as a parent is to know when to step in and when to stand back. Your response will depend on the child's temperament, maturity and the situation.

For example, your third grader may be able to confront a taunting classmate on their own, but a serious case of bullying may warrant your intervention.

Still, always make sure your child knows you've got their back. Tell them, "Try it on your own first,but if you need help,let me know and I'll be there."

To Your Great Life and Health...

Tips For Engaging Children

Preschool Circle Time Song: Tips For Engaging Children

You most likely know that children love to sing, but did you realize that choosing a preschool circle time song has additional benefits then encouraging children to express their musical capabilities? In fact, circle time is a great way to encourage young children to develop emotional skills and participate in a group. There are many effective ways to use circle time to teach additional skills as well. For instance, your choice of a preschool circle time song can reinforce counting, letter recognition, health and safety awareness, as well as provide a musical and rhythmic activity. It is important that all children feel comfortable in the circle and children should never be forced to participate in circle time. It is important to choose your preschool circle time song carefully and pick one that children show interest in. If you are dealing with children who are not responding to circle time, it may be time to introduce a different song.

A great way to encourage children to participate in circle time is to create an area specified for the circle. You can use masking tape to map out the circumference of the circle. Masking tape comes in a variety of colors and can make the circle more appealing. It is also important to make sure that circle time is kept short and brief. One of the most common mistakes made with circle time is extending it so long that children lose interest. Remember, preschool children have very short attention spans. A way that you can interest children in participating is by choosing a preschool circle time song that has each child’s name in it. If the other children say the name of a child that isn’t participating, this can create an interest in the other child and encourage him or her to join in. By keeping children engaged in circle time, you will foster and nurture their sense of belonging to a group.

Driveway Safety for Children

Driveway safety is a very demanding responsibility for parents or guardians of young children. Even when closely watching your children, it is difficult to react quickly enough when they dart out from your driveway into the street either chasing a ball or riding a toy. Some of the most devastating motor vehicle accidents involving children occur in the driveway.

Driveway safety statistics show that children who do survive sustain severe and permanent physical and brain injuries. In fact, the driveway is the second greatest killer of young children around the home.

Driveway injuries can be prevented by:

• Having a greater awareness of the danger

• Following simple safety rules

• Being more vigilance as parents

Driveway safety is comprised of two categories

Preventing your child from:

• Being run over by a car backing out of the driveway

• Running into the street while playing in the yard

Prevent your child from being run over in the driveway

One third of children under the age of six, who are involved in motor vehicle accidents, were killed in yards, parking lots and driveways. One and two year olds are most likely to be killed or injured in home driveways. The vehicle is usually moving slowly and is often being driven by a parent, relative or friend.

A slow moving vehicle backing down a driveway can trap a child, and cause fatal crushing injuries. Children who do survive often suffer severe long-term injuries.

Small children, particularly toddlers, can be impossible to see if they are directly behind a car. Most drivers are aware of their car’s ‘blind spots,’ and studies show that there is a large “blind spot” behind most cars, particularly when driving in reverse. Even cars with parking sensors or a video camera may not notice a small child until it is too late to stop.

The greatest number of fatal driveway accidents occur on weekdays as opposed to weekends. They usually occur between 8:00am and 10:00am in the morning, and between 4:00pm and 6:00pm in the afternoon. Additionally, most of these accidents occur in good weather and bright conditions.

Safety Steps

• Always watch your children and never leave them alone while playing in the yard - especially near parked or moving vehicles

• Ensure their safety by holding their hands or keeping them close to you

• If you are home alone and need to move your vehicle, securely put your child in the car while you move it

• Use security doors, fencing or gates for areas that exit your home to make access to the driveway difficult for young children

• Walk around your vehicle before leaving an area where children have been playing

• Never allow your unsupervised child use your driveway as a place to play

• Create an alternative safe play area for your children

Protecting Your Children from Running into the Street

To deal with this driveway safety problem, many parents use their car to block the driveway or erect a temporary barrier out of wood or whatever else may be lying around the garage. Many of these barriers are not sturdy and children on riding toys can be injured if they collide with the barrier or car.

A better driveway safety solution is called a driveway safety net. It extends across the bottom of your driveway. It is a low-cost, easy-to use portable mesh barrier that acts as a deterrent by preventing children and toys from leaving the driveway and entering the street.

It also acts as a visual barrier to deter automobiles from entering the driveway where children are playing. This is especially important when cars parked on the street next to your driveway can impair a driver’s vision.

Nothing can replace parental supervision as the primary solution to child safety. Proactively watching our children can be a challenge, however it is better to meet the challenge than to suffer the consequences.

Interactive Electronic Children's Books

Did you know there are numerous authors that have published children's books in electronic format? What is electronic format? Well, that is when a book is available from the computer as a download or on CD or on diskette.

If a customer purchases a book as a download, then the publisher sends them the book through email sometimes with a link where they can go to download it themselves, or as an attachment. If the customer purchases the book on CD or diskette, then the book will arrive through the mail with cover art, spine, author information, ISBN (International Standard Book Number, which is a ten-digit number that uniquely identifies books and book-like products that are published internationally. It identifies one title or an edition of a title from one specific publisher), and instructions on how to open your book.

Here are a few fabulous children's electronic book, many of which come with sounds and animation. CAPTAIN ANGUS, THE LIGHTHOUSE GHOST by Wendy Laing, published by Wendave, http://wendave.com/wendaveaudiobooks.html, is a book written using The Cape Otway Lighthouse in Victoria, Australia. Laing's book, creditable as a teaching aid, educates readers about pioneer history in Australia. Readers follow along with two children, exploring through a magic time travel tunnel with an old Scottish sea captain.

BECAUSE I SAID SO by Dotti Enderle, published by Writers-Exchange EPublishing tells the story of little Logan and his mother. Every time his mother asks him to complete a task such as pick up his toys or to take a bath, Logan asks her why. His mother's response is clear and simple"BECAUSE I SAID SO." In the end of this delightful illustrated book, Logan surprises his mother with a reply to her why question.

Perhaps you are looking for a book that teaches your children about marriage. BICYCLE: A STORY ABOUT MARRIAGE by Rod Lenfest is just the book you need. Published by Writers-Exchange EPublishing, this book comes complete with comical illustrations. It is a story about marriage written so children of all ages can understand. It is an amusing and easy-to-read book. The helpful information in the back section enables readers to get the most from the story. Lenfest uses a bicycle as a metaphor to teach readers the many parts a marriage needs to succeed.

Book number two in the Green Heart Series, BLUEGUM CHRISTMAS: A MIRACLE AT SASSAFRAS CREEK by Marlies Bugmann, published by Zumaya Publications is a quick, satisfying read. This book teaches children the importance of taking care of our ecosystem in a fiction plot using a little eight-year-old boy named Ben Arthurson and a little ten-year-old girl named Samantha Hogan. Together they learn the uniqueness of the rare and beautiful Christmas birds; save the bluegum trees from destruction, and learn to appreciate nature and their surroundings.

Remember, just because some books are electronic (e-book) books, doesnt mean they arent fantastic! Open up an electronic book today and get to know some talented new authors.

Using Aromatherapy With Children

A Beginner's Guide To Using Aromatherapy With Children

Trust your instinct - a beginner’s guide to using aromatherapy with children:

Essential oils are pure aromatic plant essences – they are distilled from flowers, fruit, leaves, resins, roots, seeds, and wood. The are used for their healing properties the world over – in , for example, they are only available through licensed, qualified parishioners. In the United States, we have free access to essential oils – but with this comes with some important cautions: Only some of the essential oils available are suitable for children; others are not suitable for children and some are even dangerous to children (children with epilepsy should not come in contact with stimulating essential oils).

When used correctly however, essential oils can be of great benefit, and will not conflict with your child’s medically prescribed drugs. Always research the oil of choice thoroughly before using with your infant or child – ask advice from a qualified practitioner, or see the references at the end of this article.

That said, essential oils can be a wonderful way of supporting your child's health, happiness and well-being. Essential oils can be very therapeutic and nurturing to both your child and you, the caregiver. Essential oils are used externally (on the outside of the body) in your child’s bath, body lotions, oils, creams, gels, compresses, foot baths, or in a oil warmer. The effects of aromatherapy will generally fall into one of three main categories: 1) Assisting in healing from minor illnesses and accidents, 2) Supporting your child’s overall sense of well-being, and 3) Assisting your child in getting quality rest.

When using essential oils with your child, it is imperative that you find a reputable supplier of therapeutic-grade essential oils, using organic or wildcrafted varieties when possible. Synthetic copies of oils commonly used in perfumery are not appropriate, and may even be harmful to your child’s health. To maintain efficacy, essential oils should be kept in dark amber or cobalt glass containers, in a dark and cool location, away from the child’s access. Wooden storage boxes from craft or 'Pier One' type stores can make a nice container for the bottles.

Methods of Using Essential Oils

There are two methods of using essential oils with your child – INHALATION: through a diffuser, nebulizer, or adding to a humidifier reservoir, and TOPICAL APPLICATION: diluting the essential oil in a carrier oil and applying topically. Adding essential oils to a bath combines the two methods, though we will cover it under topical application.

For topical application, essential oils are diluted in varying strengths depending on the use and age of your child. The concentration can vary from one drop of essential oil per tablespoon of carrier oil, to a couple of drops per teaspoon of carrier added to a drawn bath, to an equal ratio of carrier and essential oil applied directly to your child’s feet (as in the case of gentle Lavender). In other words, there is a huge variation in dilution levels depending on the circumstances. Mamas, do your research and then trust your instinct. Only you and your child baby know exactly what is right for your situation.

General dilution rate guidelines of essential oils in one ounce of carrier oil:

Age of Child and amount of Essential Oil per One Ounce Carrier Oil for Topical/Massage Application:

Newborn (Consult primary care physician before use)

1-3 drops essential oil / ounce
2-6 months
1-3 drops essential oil / ounce
6-12 months
1-4 drops essential oil / ounce
1-4 years (unless very small)
5-8 drops essential oil / ounce
6-7 years
5-10 drops essential oil / ounce
9-12 years
5-12 drops essential oil / ounce
12 years to young adult
10-15 drops essential oil / ounce

DO NOT USE AN ESSENTIAL OIL NEAT (undiluted ) on children’s skin, unless indicated to do so for a specific condition. If your child has very sensitive skin, it is important to test a small area before using a new single oil or blend. Keep essential oils away form the eyes. When using citrus oils - orange, bergamot, lemon, tangerine, mandarin, and lime - do not use where the skin will be exposed to sunlight for the next 12 hours. These oils are considered 'phototoxic', and can react from the sun's rays. They may be used in a bath, however, where they will be washed off the skin when the bath is done.

Essential oils are not to be taken orally (by mouth). When your child is taking medications, reduce the amount of essential oil by half the amount recommended for their age group.

Carrier oils for children

Sweet Almond oil is generally regarded as the safest and best overall carrier oil for use with babies and children. Apricot kernel oil is also considered extremely safe with children over 6. Jojoba oil can be added at about 10% concentration for any blend – it has a soothing effect on the skin and is good for hair.

Topical Application - Nurturing Touch Massage Recipes

There is nothing better for any child than the loving, nurturing touch of a parent. A gentle hug, a smile, a kiss on the cheek all reassure the child and help the parent and child to bond. These everyday forms of connection are instinctual and children thrive from it.

Research shows that massage can help children’s growth both physically and emotionally. In hospitals, studies done with premature baby’s show that touch is an essential aspect of the children’s ability to thrive.

Using aromatherapeutic nurturing touch massage can be therapeutic to both the child and the parent. Using a light, conscientious tough you can massage your child’s feet, arms, hands, back, abdomen, and even legs. The massage should always be done with loving intention and the work is done in the direction that the blood flows-from ankles to leg; from wrist to shoulder, etc.

Here are a few suggested blends for this wonderful method – each is in one (1) ounce of Sweet Almond oil:

Restful Sleep – 4 drops lavender, 2 drops Roman Chamomile

Happy Child – 3 drops Rose, 1 drop Neroli

Calm and Relaxed – 3 drops Petitgrain, 3 drops Neroli

Emotional Nurturing – 1 drop Rose, 1 drop Vanilla, 2 drops Lavender

For a Baby oil blend, to be used as a moisturizer OR massage oil (note: the frequent washing of a baby's skin actually makes it difficult for them to retain vitamin C; application of a quality skin oil will help them keep adequate supplies of this important nutrient).

1 ounce of organic sweet almond oil or hazelnut oil
1 drop of pure Lavender essential oil
1 drop of Vanilla essential oil

OR

1 ounce of organic sweet almond oil
2 drops of pure Lavender essential oil
1 drop of pure Chamomile (German) essential oil

The above blends can also be added to the bath. One teaspoon with the following amount of essential oils added can be added AFTER the bath is filled, per the age of the child: 3-5 years, 2 drops; 6-8 years, 3 drops; 8-11 years, 5 drops. Perhaps the easiest way to do this would be to make a full strength blend (without carrier oil) of your choice, then dilute as needed for the application.

Inhalation of essential oils

For inhalation, one can apply one or two drops to a handkerchief and inhale, or add oils to a water misting bottle or humidifier. Calming essential oils that may be used are Lavender (recommended for sleep – one to four drops can be placed under the pillow), Mandarin, Roman Chamomile, Ho Wood (an ecologically friendly replacement for Rosewood), Tangerine, Petitgrain, Vanilla, and Neroli. Use these oils singly, create your own blend, or use one of the body oil blends above without the carrier oil. A few drops per quart of water in a mister sprayed throughout a room or added humidifier resevoir will do.

For an anti-anxiety blend: Try 5 drops bergamot, 1 drop lavender and 3 drops geranium – dilute to 10 drops per ½ pint of water for a room spray or use in a humidifier, or dilute to the appropriate level for your child's age if using topically. For alertness, try lemon, bergamot, grapefruit or pine, either singly or in a blend that pleases your senses (usually the best way to blend is to trust your nose!)

Essential oils can also be used in a candle lamp or warmer – with the oil gently evaporated from the surface of a small bowl of water by the heat of a candle. An electric nebulizing diffuser is generally not recommended for use with children, as the concentration of oils in the air can be too high.

Last but not least, essential oils are wonderful antiseptics.

Cuts and scrapes are simply a way of life for the little ones! A great blend for minor wounds is a 1:1 mix of Lavender and Tea Tree oil. The lavender is soothing, anti-inflammatory, and has regenerative 'ketones', while the tea tree is a strong antiseptic used for many generations by native Australians. Use this blend in the water used for cleaning wounds, and apply a few drops to the gauze of a bandage – do not apply directly to the skin as it will be unnecessarily irritating. On the bandage, however, it will be soothing and accelerate the healing process.

So this is a very brief overview of using essential oils with children. There are many, many diverse applications for essential oils for almost every conceivable minor ailment seen in childhood. The key is knowledge – finding a good practitioner, or reputable resource for your needs. For further reading, books by Valerie Ann Woorwood are excellent: "Aromatherapy for the Healthy Child" and "The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy"; for safety data, see "Essential Oil Safety" by Robert Tisserand and Tony Balacs. The essential oils mentioned within this article are recognized as safe for most individuals – if you or your child are recognized as having a specific illness, and/or are under a doctor's regular care, please consult an appropriate practitioner before proceeding.

That said, aromatherpy can be a very fun and rewarding endevor for both you and your child. Essential oils have benefited the lives of many the world over, and have a little bit of plant magic available to everyone.

Children are People, Not Machines

When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay attention to the details." That saying became very real to me in the area of parenting. While raising children, the details make great differences in development.

Being that children are people and not machines, the kind of detailing needed is different. Focusing on the externals of name brand clothing, perfect hair and having the most extensive collection of expensive toys are not the kind of attention needed. Such efforts will result in the child feeling rejected and learning to substitute material objects and appearances for love.

Children need the attention of their parents. The areas of their lives and abilities given attention will develop most. If the majority of parental attention is given to not standing correctly or not finishing tasks, these areas will develop further. In situations where habitual fault-finding occurs, the child eventually takes all that criticism inside and turns it on themselves. Such methods often lead to unmotivated children with low-self-esteem.

Many adult parents still carry emotional scars from harsh fault-finding from parents. A good common sense rule is, "If you would not let anyone talk to you like you talk to your child, you need to make some changes." Sadly, many children suffer in quiet desperation as victims of harsh treatment, that the parent justifies by telling themselves "it's for their own good," or "I only do it because I love them so much." Such displays are not experienced by the children as "love."

Children need attention given to the details of their lives. The attention they need the most is from their parents. They need encouragement in specific and tangible terms. Statements like, "It puts a smile in my heart, when you show teamwork by playing nicely with your brother" make a child beam. Find them doing good things and bring that to their attention. Identify the specific talent, how it is used and your reaction to it. Train their young minds to search for their talents with the same kind of attention to detail that may have previous been devoted to fault-finding. It also helps to identify internal or character qualities to praise rather than external appearances.

By developing these qualities, the child will always carry those qualities with them, regardless of age. Children do want to please their parents. The challenge many children face is that they often do not know what does please their parents.

Focusing on the details when children do good is important. Such an approach is detailed enough for children to understand what they did good and how it made you feel. Parents often devote too much detail to fault-finding. When the attention to detail is directed to finding good, it results in motivated children with strong self-esteems. If the devil is in the details, perhaps the saints are also.

Effects of Media Violence on Children

1. Counter the Effects of Media Violence on Children
2. Despite the fact that their own ratings systems found the material appropriate only for adults, the motion picture, music, and video game industries practice "pervasive and aggressive marketing" of violent movies, music, and electronic games to children. - Federal Trade Commission finding regarding child entertainment
3. The values depicted on TV and movie screens are a far cry from the values you want your children exposed to in their formative years. For example, the average American child will have watched 100,000 acts of televised violence, including 8,000 depictions of murder, by the time he or she finishes the sixth grade. In a typical American home, the TV set is on for over seven hours each day, and the average child spends more time watching that TV than they do in school, or doing any other activity besides sleeping. And, while your children are glued to the tube watching so-called child entertainment, they will see between 1,000 and 2,000 television ads promoting alcohol every year.
4. It's difficult to control parental outrage in the midst of that kind of media influence. How do you teach your child the concepts and character traits that translate into better learning habits at school, better behavior at home, and better citizenship in the world? How do you define loyalty to a five-year-old? How to you teach a four-year-old about bravery and respect? And how do you explain love?
5. These aren't simple words that can be taught to your child by rote. They're complex concepts that your child needs to know, understand, and adopt at an early age if they're to succeed in life.
6. The key to teaching children sophisticated character traits - such as courage, loyalty, justice, respect, hope, honesty and love - is character-based education. The heart of character-based education is guiding your children toward TV shows, kid movie, and books that reflect positive values. While you may not be able to give your child the words that explain diversity, you can exert and control parental influence by giving him or her any Winnie the Pooh book, which demonstrates that theme in ways a child can easily understand. Pooh Bear also interprets the concept of family and the value of friendship.
7. Thomas the Tank Engine teaches lessons about cooperation, sharing, and the value of hard work. Your child may not realize that they're being taught a lesson while reading about or watching Thomas and his friends, but by the end of the book or TV show, they will have learned a complex concept - and been entertained in the process.
8. For older readers, The Wizard of Oz follows a similar theme. When the Scarecrow complains of his lack of a brain, the Cowardly Lion discusses his lack of bravery, or the Tin Man wishes he had a heart, your child learns what intelligence, bravery, and love are, and why they're so important. Dorothy tirelessly tries to find her way home, and in doing so surrounds herself with new friends who work together to overcome their weaknesses and harness their strengths. Even though your child is engrossed in the story, the concepts of family, courage, cooperation, home, and love are made clear.
9. When you look at the values presented in the media, it becomes clear that positive character traits are poorly defined for children. What one child learns about bravery and loyalty from watching two bank robbers in a kid movie is much different than what another child learns about bravery and loyalty through reading about or watching Winnie the Pooh helping a friend out of a jam.
10. As parents, combating the negative influence of media by filtering the content to which our children are exposed - such as looking at a movie rental review - may not be enough. Even if our children are an exception to the national average - over six hours of daily exposure to the media - it's safe to assume that their peers have internalized negative media messages and will influence our children. To counteract negative media and peer influences, we must take charge of our children's character education. That's not easy, given that our active lives and hectic schedules leave little time for reviewing and selecting appropriate reading and viewing material for our children.
11. Still, you should do what you can to guide your family toward materials that reinforce values that you hold dear. Evaluate the content of each children's book, television show, and movie rental review for positive and negative examples of the following ten traits: self-discipline, compassion, responsibility, friendship, work, courage, perseverance, honesty, loyalty, and faith. Also, look for negative behavioral influences, such as violence, profanity, nudity, sexual content, scary elements, and the use of drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Then, make your selections according to the messages that each book, television show, or movie sends your children.

School Crucial for Aspergers Children

The Right School is Crucial for Aspergers Children

Mainstream or Special Schools for Asperger Children?

There has been a lot of emphasis over recent years on "inclusion". The idea is that integrating children into mainstream schools rather than placing them in special schools is a "Good Thing". But is it?

Children with Aspergers syndrome see the world in a different way. With their fixed ideas and concrete thinking they can often come across as very pedantic. They may also be obsessed with some micro-topic and have little interest in general academic topics that they may regard as irrelevant. With their social skill problems they over act inappropriately in social interactions.

Because of all this, other people, particularly their peers, may regard them as "weird" or "odd". Often this ends up with them being teased and bullied. Then, because of their problems with social interactions, they can react to this with aggression or violence - lashing out at those that torment them.

At the same time they have great difficulties with their teachers who are just trying to teach a subject. With their pedantic interest in micro-topics they can be very tiresome to teach. Not only that, but if the teacher seems to handle situations in any way unfairly, this too will be challenged by the Asperger child.

Being perceived as oddballs by their peers, and having to cope with teachers who do not understand their ways of thinking, how to these children fare in mainstream school?

Frequently, not very well. With their unique interpretation of the world, and of social interactions, they often end up lashing out or getting into conflict with both other students and teachers. Often they feel they are being unfairly treated, and unfairly punished.

Fast forward this a few years and you have a dispirited child who is on the verge of being expelled from the school for bad behavior.

A very different scenario could occur in a special school. Staffed with teachers and carers with both the traning and the time to take a special interest in these children, the kids often get much more support and help with their social skills. Their self esteem improves, and so does their behavior.

The students, likewise, tend to be much more tolerant of each other's idiosyncracies, since they have themselves suffered teasing. With the right environment, these children develop a positive self esteem, a fascination for learning (in their unique style) and, ultimately, a much better outcome than they might have had in a mainstream school.

Every child is difficult. Surely it is logical that we cannot just apply a blanket ideology to all children as though they were merely sausage meat going through a sausage factory? Unique children require unique solutions in order to succeed, and if that means a special school, well, then so be it!

Activities For Autistic Children

Please can you offer some activity-based suggestions and PE/games options for autistic children that they can do at home or at school. Looking at two age groups here 7 – 10 and 11-16.

Parents, teachers, and other caregivers often get so caught up in educating and providing structure to the lives of autistic children that they forget that, above all, he or she is a child. Like any other child in his or her age group, your autistic child wants to have fun. While some activities may not be suitable for those suffering from autism, there are a number of fun games to play with autistic children, many of which can get them involved with others or help them further develop motor or social skills while just focusing on having a good time.

Autistic children in the elementary school age range can benefit greatly from song. Even children who do not verbally communicate with words can learn to hum along or play simple instruments, such as tambourines or whistles. Using sounds that are repetitive and with educational lyricshelps autistic children learn school lessons but also gives them an outlet for some of the sensory stimulation they need, such as yelling. Play follow the leader with the instruments to help the children focus their attention and improve socialization skills.

Depending on how mature your child is, he or she may also not only be able to participate in regular childhood games, but greatly benefit from them as well. These activities, including tag and other games, can be learned more easily than you think. Stick with games in which the autistic child is not forced to have close physical contact with other children, as this may be hurtful for autistic individuals. Also, remember to play to your child’s strengths or what he or she wishes to learn. If he or she has a problem with yelling inappropriately, for example, encouraging him or her to be involved with a game of hide and seek may help curb this behavior.

Autistic children often wish to be included in games with non-autistic peers, and so this may help with the learning process. At home, focus on games that involve closer contact with trusted family members. For example, make it a game to get across the room without touching the floor. Perhaps the only route in some instances is to be carried. Remember that each child is different developmentally, so stay in tune with how challenging the activities should be.

As your child matures, he or she may want to be involved with organized sports. This should be encouraged, but choose your sport carefully. Golf, baseball, and other sports that do not involve strong personal sensory stimulation may be better for your child than something like tackle football. However, be open to all possibilities. Be sure the team’s coach understands your child’s disability and is willing to work with him or her.

At this later developmental stage, also continue encouraging learning activities. Sensory games work well to further teach these children, and as they mature emphasize the importance of appropriate behavior as you are playing these games. Using things like water balloons in games your child already enjoys is often as fun for children with autism. Also realize that an autistic individual has trouble seeing things from another’s point of view. Therefore, they may be less likely to enjoy games in which something must be kept a secret from another person (like go-fish).

Overall, you and your child need to grow together. Remember that although he or she has many special needs, sometimes your child needs to simply be a kid as well. Encourage play along with work, and realize that games and activities for autistic children may fulfil two key elements, socialization skills for life and learning to enjoy playing with their peers.

Reading to Your Children

Let's Read! The Benefits of Reading to Your Children

Parents, when you help your children learn to read, you help them open the door to a big, exciting world. As a parent, you can begin an endless learning chain like this: You read to your children, they develop a love of stories and poems, they want to read on their own, they practice reading, and finally, they read for their own information or pleasure. When children become readers, their world is forever wider and richer.

Studies have shown that children that are read to on a consistent basis begin to develop both communication and thinking skills at a much younger age than children that aren’t read to on a consistent basis. In addition, those skills continue to progress and develop much more rapidly in children that are read to consistently. This progression of skills will continue as long as you spend quality time reading with them.

Children appreciate the quality time you spend with them reading books and enjoy good stories as well!

Here are some things you can do to make sure you get your daily readings with your children:

• Read aloud to your children: books, newspaper and magazine articles, the back of the cereal box, labels on cans, or directions – anything with appropriate printed material on it is
• Read poems aloud together to learn about rhythm and repeated sounds in language.
• Point to the words on the page when you read. Move your finger from left to right.
• Listen to your children read homework or favorite stories to you every day.
• Go to the library together and check out books. Be sure to ask the librarian for good books or to help you find what you need.
• Have books, magazines, and papers around the house, and let your child see that you like to read, too.
• Encourage older children to read to younger children.
• Help experienced readers talk and write about what they read.
• Develop a quality nighttime ritual of reading a few books with your children.

Remember, giving your children a head start in life requires spending time with them – and part of that time should be spent with a good book!

(some information for this article provided by FDA Consumer Magazine)